Scott Freeman

The Difference a Year Makes

May 8th, 2008

I realized earlier today that it was a year ago this week that I posted what would turn out to be my most controversial post ever on this blog. It was a post that was trying to deal with my own depression and frustrations. I internalize a lot and was using this space as my ventilation system. The post resonated with several fellow minister types as it was vulnerable and transparent. Ministry can be frustrating, lonely and difficult at times.

I didn’t know it at the time but it would kick-start the process that would bring my tenure in Waco to an end. I would announce my resignation within two months of that post primarily because of this excerpt:

I want to scream at all that I feel is wrong in this world and I want to comfort those who have been wronged.
I want to yell at injustice while I often remain silent.
I want to run from ministry and do something else and I want to invest myself further in ministry.
I want friends and I want to wall myself off to the world.
I want to feel that this church has some life in it while feeling it’s so dead.
I want to cuss and I want to praise.
I wrestle with doubt and I am overcome by belief.
I want to change everything about the way we do church and I want to remain comfortable.
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and insurpassable joy.
I want to smile and laugh and I want to weep.
I want to tear everything down so I can build something new.
I want to blow tradition apart while clinging to my own heritage and rituals.
I want to be more like Christ while remaining so amazingly human.

I’ve learned a lot since that post and experienced some ministerial lows that I didn’t anticipate. During that time our daughter would be diagnosed with a potentially crippling illness. It seemed that grace was absent.
I was encouraged to take a sabbatical from ministry altogether. I did not do that, but there are times when I still feel the rawness of those wounds that I think it might have been a good idea. I am still very gun-shy, overly sensitive and given to short bouts of depression. And all in all, I still feel a lot of those things.

But, much has changed as well. I am in an environment where transparency, brokenness and honesty is treasured and valued. I feel supported in spite of my deficiencies and truly a part of a family.

Looking back on that time a year ago there was a lot of hurt and pain. But, it brought me here. And for that I am thankful. God bless this new church family. My home.

—————-
Now playing: Gus Black - Don’t Go Tellin’ The Whole World
via FoxyTunes

Posted in agape | 4 Comments »

The Swell Season

May 7th, 2008

Monday afternoon I loaded up the Hyundai and set out for Kansas City. Missouri, not Kansas. Apparently, that is an important distinction.

I wrestled with whether or not it was truly worth it to drive 275 miles to go to a concert by myself. (I would love to have a friend nearby who shared my music/film tastes). If you have ever traveled I-35 through Kansas then you know how dreadfully boring it is.

I arrived early, found the Uptown Theater and then killed some time before the show.

Seats were general admission so I arrived an hour before start of show to find the line backed up for three blocks. However, since I was the loser who was by himself it wasn’t hard to score a decent seat.

The Uptown is a great venue for concerts. Great acoustics and good seats throughout. The place, seating about 2500, was sold out. We were treated by another Irish act, Damien Dempsey, for a 38 minute opening set. He did a solid set and I was delighted to find that his work is available on eMusic. It’s quality Irish Folk and worthy of a listen:

The Swell Season finally hit the stage just after 9. Glen Hansard walked out alone, picked up his guitar and did a completely unplugged version of “Say It To Me Now.” Tremendous stage presence captivated the audience as he sung without benefit of even a microphone. Here is a brief clip that someone added on YouTube from the show that I was at:

After that he welcomed the band including the always stunning Marketa Irglova. She came out and sang “All The Way Down” which was surprising to me since Glen sang it in the movie and on the album but her version was so vulnerable that it was captivating.

From there they proceeded to perform for just over 2+ hours bringing all the heart and chemistry from the movie and their debut album. It was obvious that the two of them are romantically involved as the passion and emotion of the music was palpable in each song that they sang.

They did “Falling Slowly” about 45 minutes in:

Marketa Irglova unveiled a new tune that was absolutely stunning giving an indication that this could be a timeless musical union.

Here is the setlist from a show that was worth every bit of the expense and travel to get there. If you have the opportunity to see them, and they just announced more tour dates through the Fall, by all means get tickets now.

Setlist: Say It To Me Now; All the Way Down; Lies; This Low; Drown Out; When Your Mind’s Made Up; (new song, Marketa Irglová); Falling Slowly; Leave; What Happens When the Heart Just Stops; Bad Bone; Cactus; Your Face; Once; If You Want Me; Blue Shoes (fiddle instrumental); Fitzcarraldo; Star Star; Red Chord/Here Comes the Night.

Posted in Entertainment | 6 Comments »

3

May 6th, 2008

Shayla,
Three years ago today, you came into our lives completing our family. And that is what you do in so many ways: bring completeness.
The addition you have been to our family has filled our hearts to the point of overflowing. We are so happy and blessed that you have come along to make us whole.
And yet, you make us nervous. Every once in a while we see a glimpse of the maniacal in your grin. We cringe when we see you step off without a net and bristle when people say that you will be our handful. It’s obvious that you have a spirit that will be impossible to contain.
And so we climb in, buckle up and hold on for the ride that you are taking us on.
No matter where you take us in this life, know this one thing: you are loved beyond compare. I have no greater honor to be your daddy and so, on this day I say “thank God for my beautiful and incomparable Shayla.”
Happy Birthday, birthday girl.
I love you,
Daddy

—————-
Now playing: Elvis Costello - Go Away
via FoxyTunes

—————-
Now playing: Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
via FoxyTunes

Posted in Family | No Comments »

Tay!

May 4th, 2008

He’s back with Explode!

Posted in Entertainment | 1 Comment »

3 Days to The Swell Season

May 2nd, 2008

My MTV series will return next Friday.

In the meantime, it is only 3 days until I get to go to KC and see my latest favorite band, The Swell Season.

For those not in the know, the Swell Season is Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova from the best movie of 2007 Once.

Here is some of their greatness. They just announced new tour dates through the fall, don’t miss them:

Lies:

Van Morrison’s Into the Mystic (Man, I hope they perform this):

Say It To Me Now:

And one of the greatest songs ever recorded “Falling Slowly”

I can’t wait.

—————-
Now playing: Glen Hansard - All the Way Down
via FoxyTunes

Posted in Entertainment, YouTube | 5 Comments »

Salt

May 1st, 2008

Jesus said “you are the salt of the earth.” (Matthew 5:13)

In the ancient world salt was a valuable commodity. Fortunes were made on this precious substance. It was integral in bartering for the finer things in life.

If you had access to salt then you were somebody.

So much of Matthew has to do with the concepts of honor and shame.

The listing of the beatitudes can be rightly read as “honor is given to the poor, the meek, the peacemakers, etc.” These are precisely the people who were shamed and marginalized in the first century Roman world. Jesus had a habit of inverting the social order of the day.

When Jesus follows the beatitudes up with “you are the salt of the earth” I must imagine that the same concept of honor and shame applies. The forgotten did not have ready access to an abundance of salt. Salt was often used as an equivalence for money.

And so the idea that His followers were the salt of the earth had implications beyond just seasoning, preservation and tasting good. It also embodied bringing good to those the empire had forgotten. It was being the active and ever-present Shalom in and among the marginalized. And the emphatic “the earth” implies that, somehow, that could be enough. If the followers of Jesus truly were in the providing business, if they brought the economic well-being and security to the least of these then the world could be changed.

What would the equivalent be for us today?

You are the gas of the earth?

You are the rice of the earth?

The same concept applies. Hording, worrying only about our economic well-being in times of (potential) crisis misses the call of the Christ: to bring honor to the shamed, hope to the hopeless and light in a darkened world.

Posted in matthew | 5 Comments »

New Reality Show Idea

April 30th, 2008

–A church is looking for a new preacher. 20 aspirants to the pulpit vie in different tasks.

Those tasks include:

–Preaching ability
–Bedside manner
–Casserole making
–Bulletin prep
–Dealing with difficult people
–Hospital visitation
–Finessing an eldership

Each week a would-be minister is eliminated by the congregations specially appointed panel of judges.

Fox could promote the new reality hit: Parish Wants a Homiletician.

Season two could reverse the playing field. One preacher chooses from 20 rudder-less churches.

What do you think?

Posted in Humor | 13 Comments »

Top 10 Tuesday: My Goals as a Minister

April 29th, 2008

I have a long way to go in being the minister that I have been called to be. I am open to the criticism and feedback that is part and parcel to what I do. Moreover, I recognize the areas in my life in which I must rely more fully upon the grace of God.

Here are my top 10 goals as a minister:

10. Never stop being a student. I hope to begin work on my Doctorate soon.

9. Challenge the church members to go deeper in their understanding of Jesus.

8. Find newer and fresher ways to communicate the unconditional, pervasive love of God.

7. Foster an atmosphere where people are willing to wrestle with hard questions.

6. Embody the Incarnation and the Resurrection by being a reflection of Jesus and given over to continual re-creation.

5. Become more invested in the Ponca City community.

4. Develop long lasting friendships with my church family.

3. Become more willing to hear criticism and not take things so personally.

2. Become more missional in my ministry.

1. Be the husband and father that blesses my family and teaches the value of relationship.

Posted in Top 10s | 5 Comments »

Innocence and Hannah Montana

April 28th, 2008

I have three girls. Our oldest, at the age of 7, loves Hannah Montana. We have allowed her to watch it recently and at Christmas she got her first MP3 player which is filled with High School Musical and Hannah Montana.

I fight a regular battle between being a protective dad and not being overly uptight. We have allowed our girls to play with Barbies although we aren’t huge fans. And we let them watch Spongebob, although Tracy detests all types of bathroom humor.

And so we struggle with Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. We want to believe that she is not a Lindsay Lohan train-wreck in the making. I’ve been concerned about provocative pictures she has posted on the internet in the past but I’m afraid that is part of a wider teen cultural problem than just individual acting out. (I’m friends with enough teens on Facebook to see that provocative posing is somehow de rigueur)

But the latest Vanity Fair flap distresses me. My girls are growing up fast enough and the sheer prospect of the sexualization of young girls in popular culture is vexing.

Regardless of the motivation for such a spread, the message is clear: sex sells. And if it comes in the form of a barely pubescent female, all the better. Anne Leibovitz has been doing this for a long time, she knows that. The assertion that Miley’s parents were there the entire time overseeing the shoot indicates that they know it as well. Their wunderchild is a billion dollar enterprise. And as for Miley? She is precocious and learning to deal with this new-found fame. She deserves better than being pimped in the name of commerce.

My experience has been one in which girls were not treated with the same level of respect as their male counterparts. I do not want my girls to grow up thinking that there is anything that is limited only to boys. I want them to experience a level playing field. And for that to happen we must move past the idea of sex being the greatest weapon of the “fairer sex.” In a society that snatches up Bratz dolls and pre-teen delicates with provocative messages, that becomes more difficult.

And so we must wrestle anew with issues of what we protect them from and what we allow them to experience. If only there were easy answers.

Update: One of my favorite May Moms weighs in here.

Posted in Family | 8 Comments »

Growing Up With MTV: Forgotten Gems of 1981 Part One

April 25th, 2008

I need to move on to 1982 but before I do I want to do a fast look at some songs that I still enjoy but did not remain in our collective consciousness.

Their was no way to top the masterpiece that was Meat Loaf’s Bat out of Hell. Even with the operatic stylings of Jim Steinman’s lyrics the follow-up, Dead Ringer, was a disappointment. I still enjoy I’m Gonna Love Her For Both of Us, however. It peaked at #84 and the video comes from the concert that gave us much more memorable footage but here it is:

He would never be Keith Moon but Kenney Jones tried just the same. Although Face Dances was nowhere near the stellar discs that they would churn out during the Moon era it did give us “You Better You Bet” and this song “Don’t Let Go the Coat” which also peaked at #84: