A New Identity
June 23rd, 2005 | by Scott |
I am the youngest of five children. Three brothers, a sister and then me.
I am quite a bit younger than the rest of them. My two oldest brothers were practically out of the house when I came along.
I was closer to the middle child, Steve, and my sister Cindy growing up.
They were still around.
Out of all of us, I believe Steve had the greatest talent, greatest ability and greatest intellect.
It seemed that promise was his middle name.
Unfortunately, Steve had a tendency to make bad choices.
Over the years, we endured conflicts, fights, scrapes with the law, uncertainty of whether he would emerge intact on the other side, and anger at his propensity to live a willfully rebellious life.
Man, he could infuriate me.
He could disappoint me.
But nobody could make me laugh like he could.
Nobody could make me feel more special.
He was my big brother and I loved him.
Because of that I always prayed that he would get his act together.
About a decade ago, I truly thought that was happening. He seemed to have found love and purpose.
Then tragedy struck. My brother was in the wrong place at the wrong time and wrongfully accused of something that he did not do.
He was arrested, convicted and sentenced to 40 years in prison.
The charge was a joke, the evidence was non-existence and the punishment was deplorable.
But, in spite of all that, he was sent to prison.
This morning I stood with by family, friends and Steve to request that he be granted clemency. That the good governor would look at the case, the lack of evidence, and the fact that Steve has served 9 years and release him.
I am hopeful that will happen. It is a part of my daily prayers.
As I looked around today at all the inmates waiting to be seen by the clemency board I was struck by two things:
- Steve had, by far, the largest show of support from family and friends of anybody there. About 50 inmates waited alone. That Steve has such a group of cheerleaders is testament to faith, prayer, family and church. When he is released he will not be alone but surrounded by people who believe in Him. I was saddened for those waiting alone. It made me think of Thornton Wilders play, The Angel That Troubled the Waters. In that play Wilder describes those “broken on the wheels of living.” I am thankful that Steve has people beside him.
- All of them were harboring hope in an atmosphere that seldom encourages one to look too far ahead. A chance to redefine themselves. A chance to begin again.
My brother said several months ago that he does not want to be defined by one single incident in his life.
Living the solitary existence of penitentiary life it is easy to see how that could be a possibility. To withstand the scrutiny and embarrassment of pleading for freedom is something few of us will ever have to experience.
I, too, want the same thing. I do not want Steve to be defined by his incarceration.
When I think of him I think of so much more than that:
Of talking to me like a person when others saw me as a kid.
Of making me feel important enough to teach me to play pinball.
Of teaching me the words to Boz Scaggs’ “Lowdown.”
Of taking me to see Phantom of the Paradise with Paul Williams and not laughing at me when I got scared.
For introducing me to my first sports hero: Pete Maravich.
I don’t identify my brother when prison garb. I identify him for what he is.
My big brother.
He will always be my big brother.
My prayer is that he will be released soon. I pray that the governor will grant him clemency.
My main prayer, however, is that he will find that identity he is looking for.
I hope he finds that identity in Jesus Christ.
For it is through Him and Him only that any of us will ever be set free.
That, is the ultimate clemency.