Scott Freeman

The Confessions of a Growing Pacifist: Or How I Learned to Stop Hating and Love Others

Bear with me, this will not be an easy post to write.

A couple of years ago just before the Iraq war began I taught a class entitled, “Is It Right to Fight?” I took the idea of a Christian Just War theology to convice my Sunday school class that not only was it morally acceptable to invade Iraq it was imperative.
For a long time I held unswervingly to that position.
Despite any problems that we encountered I was firmly pro-war.
When the quagmire grew deeper I dug my heels in deeper.
My rhetoric was constant.

“We are defending the right to liberty for all.”
“Al Gore would have handed the country to Osama”
“No WMD’s? So what, Saddam would have had them eventually.”

I was a poster-boy for U.S. aggression.

But along the line something began to change inside of me.
I began to question the reasons for going to war.

No, better said, I began to question MY reasons for going to war.
The answers I found were not comforting.
They did not make me proud.

Instead, they shamed me deeply.
My reasons for going to war with Iraq was not because of WMD’s
It was not because I was afraid of Saddam.
It was not to ensure liberty and justice for all.

My reason for going to war with Iraq was because I hated them.
I hated their religion.
I hated their rhetoric.
I hated all that they stood for.

When Muslims flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon I seethed in anger and hatred toward those who would infringe upon our way of life.
When my wife had to fly alone with our newborn out of Detroit on a plane full of young Middle-Easterners I despised them and their turbans.

I not only wanted to invade Iraq, I wanted to head to the other “Axis of Evil” countries when we were done.

I repent.
Carrie Newcomer has a song titled, “I Heard an Owl.” One lyric of the songs says, “Don’t tell me hate is ever right or God’s will.”

How true that is. God never legislated hate.
It’s a pretty poor justification for going to war.

The realization for me is this: I must learn to love more.
I must stop hating those who look differently and believe differently than I do.

I must be as Jesus demanded and love my enemies.

For this reason, I personally oppose the war.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I’m talking about my own reasons not that of anyone else.
I am not even making a statement as to the rightness or wrongness of American forces in Baghdad. Please understand that I support our troops and hope that every one of them will come home soon and come home safely.

But my reasons for this war are wrong. They were borne out of hatred. A hatred that does not find its genesis out of the character and nature of Christ.

I will pray.
I will pray for our troops in harm’s way.
I will pray for the soldier whose wife lies in a hospital bed thousands of miles away. I will pray that our government will truly value it’s citizens and allow him to return home to be by her side.
And I will pray for the citizens of Iraq.
I will pray that God will replace my hatred with love.
The love that imitates the Christ who died for them.