Scott Freeman

Is It Me You See or He You See?

A friend this week described me this week on another blog as “an evangelical Christian preacher in Waco, Texas (and yet, not a wacko!)”
I view that as a great compliment.
I have had several people ask me recently why I tend to be self-deprecating in my writings. Why I tend to belittle myself for the sake of a point.
Allow me an opportunity to discuss this point.
First and foremost, we must have an understanding of what it means to be self-deprecating. Typically, it means that one undervalues their talents and abilities.
I believe an even greater understanding of self-deprecating is the idea that people undervalue their talents and abilities in an effort to produce just the opposite–the building up of an ego through the propensity of people to affirm those who are down on themselves.
In other words, if one individual puts himself down, he can count on others to build him up, capitalizing on a perverse, ironic need for affirmation.

I hope I don’t do that. I hope that my need for accolades and compliments are not so fleshly that I would stoop to such obvious tactics for a few passing compliments.
I hope that I wouldn’t go to such ironic lengths for a little ego-stroking.
But, I probably do just that.
I (sinfully) covet affirmation.
I tend to relish the “good jobs” and “way to go’s” that others will throw my way.

But, and here is the important point, I am not striving to be self-deprecating.
My sincere attempt it to be honest:
I am a sinner.
I am a sinner saved by the grace of God.
I am a sinner saved by the grace of God, not by what I am or strive to be.
And I must continually acknowledge that or I will be consumed by the pagan desire for self-recognition, self-adulation and self-aggrandizement.
If that is what I become then God is no longer glorified and honored in my life. And my friend would have to change her opinion of me.

You see, I must be honest and sincere. I know what I am made of.
I know that I am still undone.
God is not finished with me. And I am stubborn enough that He will not be finished with me this side of Heaven.
I know that any abilities I have come from Him.
If I can preach, it is His gift to me, not due to my own proclivity for oration. That’s why I get sick to my stomach every Sunday morning.
If I can teach it is because He blesses me with insight and understanding. For I know that I’m not that particularly smart or insightful.
If I can offer sound counsel it is because He has blessed me with the ultimate Counselor in working through my own struggles and temptations.

I am who I am only because of I Am.
I believe that the reason many non-Christians fail to receive the good news of Jesus Christ is that we often communicate an unappealing message, an unwelcoming spirit, and an uncompassionate superiority.
Too often we have positioned ourselves as having all the answers instead of being in direct relationship with the Answer.
We have communicated our holiness rather than His Holiness.
We have displayed our sanctimony rather than His Sacrifice.
Our superiority rather that His Sovereignty.

And as a result, many curious seekers, despite knowing that who we believe in is Real and True, turn away because we have failed to be real and true.

Let’s be honest with each other.
Let’s be open with our struggles.
Let’s be transparent with a searching world.
And in so doing may they see, not us, but the Christ in us.

May they see that we don’t have it all together but we know the One who can hold us together. That His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Paul had it right there. If we brag, let’s brag of our weaknesses so God’s power can be seen in us.

You see, I hope my friend can say that I am not a wacko because she sees Jesus in me.
Not some feigned moral superiority but the blood of Jesus.
That I seek to love others because Jesus loves me.
That I strive to be compassionate with others because Jesus is compassionate with me.
That I am patient when others see things differently because He is so patient with me.

If we show people all that we are then, eventually, they will be disappointed. And they may lose faith in our message.
But, if through our weaknesses, we embody the person of Christ, then, maybe, they will see Him more clearly.
And isn’t that what we are called to do: display Him to the world?
My life’s goal, my truest desire is that when people see me, they see Jesus. If I lift up myself they will never see Him.