Scott Freeman

The Consistent Demands of Grace

I consider myself to be a grace-oriented person. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and seek to understand where they are coming from. I am quick to forgive and I rarely hold grudges. When I do hold grudges, I feel sick inside.
Likewise, I rail against the pervasive aspects of legalism that holds people to too high of a standard hamstringing them in any effort they might undertake to better themselves or their life situation.
I firmly believe that the crux of the gospel, the core of the message of God is that of grace embodied in the person of Jesus.
Therefore, I seek to be forgiving, merciful and gracious in my dealings with others. I cannot be a witness to the love and mercy of Jesus Christ in my life if I fail to extend that same love and mercy to others, regardless of whether or not they look like me, act like me, or believe like me.
Grace must be consistent.
Because of the constant demands of grace, I realize how much of a failure I am at being an agent of grace.
Tim Kimmel in his excellent book, Grace-Based Parenting, makes the argument that if grace is the core of the gospel then it must be the core of our marriages, our parenting, our every relationship. When we elevate non-essential matters to the level of a moral issue, then we have failed in being grace-based. That means that it must be nothing more than an open closet door, not a sinful practice.
Read this excerpt:

I know there are times when children need to be told that they can’t have the buffet or they need to keep their shoes on, but it shouldn’t be an arbitrary thing. It should be times when it’s the only workable option or makes godly sense. Otherwise, it makes no sense–especially if you are trying to treat your child the way God treats us. Kids inside homes where nonmoral issues are elevated to a level of big problems don’t get to experience the kind of acceptance that makes a heart feel securely loved.Instead they live with a barrage of nitpicking criticism, receiving put-downs because they are curious, anxious, excited, helpless, carefree, or absent-minded.

The girls in my life each have beautiful personalities, full of independence, spunk and wonder. When I curtail that because I have elevated compliance to my makeshift list of rules and expectations as the indicator of faithfulnes, I have failed to encourage God’s creation.
When personality traits become referendums on character then I fail to be the husband I need to be.
When curious questions become an inconvenience, when excitement is greeted with exasperation, when wonder is thwarted by cynicism, then I withhold grace.

I don’t want to be that parent.
Cassie, dance until your legs fail to propel you.
Chloe, ask until your curiosity is sated.
Shayla, demand to be held until you feel held back.
Tracy, don’t worry about that closet door. I’ll close it.

I love each of you too much not to extend the grace of Christ.