A Statement I Live By
February 28th, 2006 | by Scott |I have a phrase that I repeat over and over again. I don’t know where I got it. I am assuming that it is just my own quote that I have concocted over the last 18 months of refining my theology. However, I do not want to be so arrogant as to assume myself incapable of having lifted it from someone else. If so, let me know and I will give credit to whom credit is due.
That phrase is this: I would rather be guilty of loving too much than judging too much.
I try to approach all of my dealings with people from that perspective. And it has made all the difference.
If I am to err in my dealings with people, let them accuse me of loving them more than being critical. More than being dismissive. More than judging.
You see, I’ve done too much judging in my life. I have typecast, stereotyped and dismissed.
I have lived my life with such an either/or mentality that I have failed to embody love.
Either they are strong and devout Christians that agree with me on all of the necessary issues or they are pagans and heathens bound for hell who need to know Jesus and His love.
Of course, there was no way that haughty attitude I possessed was going to bring them anywhere into the vicinity of the love of Christ.
I have driven past the beggar because it was “just a scam” or “they could get a job but they don’t want one.”
I have resisted going into “certain areas” because “a guy can get killed there.”
I have marginalized and dismissed people who fail to look like me, act like me, believe like me, or talk like me.
And too many of us Christians are guilty of this. We judge far more than we love.
I removed a post about me seeing “Brokeback Mountain” because of several comments left that were just hateful and would never shed the love of Christ upon a seeking or hurting soul.
(Side Note: I don’t wear my wedding ring because it slides off my finger. When I lost all my weight it no longer fit. However, when I went to see that movie I put it on, because I didn’t want anyone to think I was “one of them.” I too, still, have a long way to go.)
Of course, such a phrase does not remain impervious to criticism that it is somewhat shallow theology. The reason that it opens itself up to such criticism is that we have co-opted the gospel to be something different than what it truly is.
I hear people all the time say that “we have to stand up for the truth.” That the Christian voice has to be heard among the din of evil voices that are seeking to topple the freedom of religious expression that we enjoy in this country. That if we don’t speak out against sin then we will hasten our destruction. That we must not “water down” the truth by blindly loving.
Excuse me, but that is shallow theology.
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment of all was, He did not say it was to speak against the evils of Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or Baptists.
He did not say to rail against homosexuals.
He did not say to boycott and picket forms of entertainment that run counter to our belief system.
He said to love. Love God. Love our neighbors.
The Christian life distilled down to two simple, yet profound, principles: Loving Him and loving others.
None of this is to say that we take a soft view on sin. However, it does mean that we take a softer view on people. Seek to love first, before we cast judgment.
Seek to understand before we condemn.
Seek to embrace before we exclude.
“But we have to speak the TRUTH in love” people will say. That’s what Paul told us to do in Ephesians 4. We have to show these people where they are wrong, right?
How about we show them Jesus, instead?
How about we allow the love of Christ to penetrate their souls and change them?
If we are to speak Truth then we must know that Jesus is the Truth.
Same with love.
So our speech must be that of how Christ would speak to
us. That changes how I proclaim the sinful state of fallen people.
We
use that passage to justify falling on either extreme: bludgeoning
people with “truth” or coddling them with “love” rather than engaging
them with Jesus.
You see, Jesus was very explicit in His answer to what the greatest command truly is: to love.
Because of His insistence of the importance of this, I would rather be guilty of loving too much than judging too much.
And if I truly love people then they will see Jesus in me. If I come along side them in their daily struggles embodying the love and mercy of Jesus to them, then they will want to know more about Him, right?
And when you come to know Jesus you are changed. And when you come to know Jesus you are no longer afraid to face the Judge.
Let each of us seek to be guilty of loving too much. For when we love as Jesus loved then the world will be changed. Debts will be forgiven, sins will be cleansed, lives will be changed.
Jesus will be proclaimed and a profound theology will be espoused.
Lord, forgive me for the people who have heard me preach or teach and experienced only condemnation and not your love. Lord, forgive me for the hurting souls that I have dismissed because I judged them before I loved them. Lord forgive me for judging too much and loving too little.
22 Responses to “A Statement I Live By”
By Jason Bybee on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Scott,
I have much to say and little time to say it. Your post is stirring and inspirational. I’m daily faced with my own prejudices, my own judgmental attitude toward others. Yet, I too want to be guilty of loving too much rather than loving not enough. I’ll post more as I have occasion, but your words are a simultaneous encouragement and challenge for me to live out the call of Christ. God bless you man.
By scott on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Thanks, man. It’s taken me a long time to get to this point and I feel I have much travel to go. I look forward to hearing you weigh in on this more as you have time.
By Kevin Bussey on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Good words. We need more Barnabas’!
By Larry on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Good post Bro!! We all have room to grow in this area.
By Donna on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Great words. Great thoughts. I have asked God to help others forgive me for my past “narrow=minded assuredness” as well.
I pray those folks find God in spite of me.
LOVE WILL keep us together!
By Lane Widick on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
I have had an opportunity to work in some rather diverse areas. When I taught school in Houston, I lived in an area referred to as “the ghetto”. True, there were only a handful of other white people who lived there, but someone very close to me came to visit one time…and the first words out of her mouth were: “You can’t be safe here, there are no other white people here.” What was sad is that she was being honest.
I moved to Ashland City, TN, where quite frankly, there are a whole bunch of country bumpkins. The stereotypical phrase out of the mouths of those who came to visit me were words like “White Trash” and “Ignorant country folk”. While I was there, my wife and I lived in a trailer, right near a bridge. People didn’t like to come to visit us too much…because we were in a home associated with “White Trash”.
Now I live in an area of Memphis that has been declining in an economic whirlwind. All of the “rich white money” is moving east, and the “Lower, working class African Americans” are moving in. In fact, 5 years ago, the elders here decided that they were going to stay in the area instead of moving to where the money was moving, and our membership has dropped in half since then…all because everyone was too scared to stay in the area.
But what has come out of all this for me is learning to love despite what I ever thought or prejudices I had. We’ve had two young men who have been coming into class on Wednesday nights. They live one street over from the church building. They wear typical African American teenager attire: Large ball cap with a flat bill, big baggy clothes, bright white shoes…and the first time I introduced them to some of our white older men, they took me aside and said “Watch out for them, I bet they’re here to steal stuff” and “Be sure you keep an eye on them, we don’t want them bringing all their gang members in here.”
One of those two young men heard the comments…and guess what? He hasn’t been back since.
The truth: They are African American, they DO live in a troubled area, and they DO need guidance.
Speaking the truth in love: No longer an option for us, because someone blew it by letting their stereotypical attitudes take control.
Scott, thank you for this post. It should become a must read for all!!
By Jason Bybee on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Scripture is clear that Truth isn’t so much a concept as it is a Person. I love the question Pilate asks in John 18:38 - What is truth? That question is indicative of the human condition. We set out to make truth an abstraction, an idea to be attained, a doctrinal stance to be defended. And Pilate’s question, even when it is our own, is misguided. The question isn’t, “What is truth?” The question is “Who is truth?”
Maybe we’d be better served by intentionally spelling the phrase “speaking the Truth in love”. That communicates our charge more clearly.
If I’m going to be guilty of something, may it be the same thing Christ was “guilty” of: loving too much.
By scott on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Great thoughts, guys. Lane, I have heard much good about your congregation and their willingness to bloom where they are planted.
Jason, you are exactly right. To speak Truth in love means that we proclaim Jesus. He is the convictor, not us.
By loving more than judging I believe the state of people’s souls becomes more important.
By Doug Freeman on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
Scott, this is an excellant post. It hits close to home. One observation is we have to be careful and not over critize those who criticize. It was evident in the case at Memphis that the older white man should have been corrected and shown where he is wrong. Maybe he was, i hope so. We here are doing more in the inter-city than has ever been done trying to correct many years of predjuice.
By Doug Freeman on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
My intent with the post is not to be so critical of those who criticize because it puts us in the same category. Does that make sense. Our goal is to help those see where they are wrong by using the example of Christ.
By scott on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
I get you dad. But I don’t think I was being critical more than I was being cautionary.
By Jason Bybee on Feb 28, 2006 | Reply
On Rubel Shelly’s site, he catalogs all of his old sermon material. Great site if any of you are ever interested. Anyway, I was looking over some of his material on John and I found something in his lesson on John 8, the woman caught in adultery, which he preached in 2002. He references the life experience of a member of his congregation, a lady whose background was nearly as seedy as the woman in John 8. She avoids church & the religious for fear of their condemnation. More aptly within the confines of the text, she feared their stones. Thankfully, the Woodmont Hills body valued her as an image bearer of God and engaged her in loving and redemptive ways. She recounts her conversion, in spite of her fears of Christians. Her final line: “It’s not stones that help the sinner. It’s only a relationship with a Savior.”
By scott on Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
I am a frequent visitor to Shelly’s sermons. His John series was great and I used it as a resource during my own series.
It seems that we have locked ourself into this mentality that we have to defend the “truth.” Whereas, the “Truth” did not offer a defense but let his life, and subsequent death, do the talking.
What is the greater scene at the foot of the cross? The sinful behavior of the guards gambling over his robe or Jesus’ prayer for forgiveness.
Unfortunately, many of us would focus more on the sin than what Jesus is trying to do.
By Doug Freeman on Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
Scott, i knew you were not critical, just wanted to share that thought with all who respond. I may be wrong but that was a concern of mine. I think back to my experiences of the years i spent in management and some specific cases where this happened both ways.
By Darren K. on Mar 1, 2006 | Reply
Scott,
I’ve been reading for awhile and really appreciate your insights. I used to get nervous with love and grace stuff (and I meet many people who still do). There seems to be some thought that there is a continium: Love on one side and truth on the other. or grace vs. judgment. But I’ve realized: We cannot be too loving. We cannot be too gracious. Do we think that we will give out more love or grace than God would? What arrogance to think that. We must be extravagant practioners of love and grace and stop worrying about the idea that we will be overly loving or gracious.
A thought came to me: isn’t there such a thing as loving judgment? (and I’m not just talking about confronting people who have done wrong) can’t judgment be an affirmation of what God is doing in us and through us: “well done good and faithful servant”. I think the parable of the talents has much to teach us about how to and not to dispense the gifts of God. Also, in John 8, Jesus did judge the woman–he told her she wasn’t condemned–that’s the kind of judgment we need to be laying down. He also told her to leave her life of sin, but he didn’t attach any strings to the first judgment. I’m probably playing with semantics–I undertand what you mean by judging–self righteous conclusions. just some thoughts…
By scott on Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
Darren, great thoughts. I think what you are doing is much more than semantics. It is placing judgment back into the proper context: light driving out darkness, good deeds convicting others, graciousness being the convicting tool.
I’m going to kick this around for a while. Please keep coming around.
By Layce on Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
Scott, that was really moving, I believe the same. I really enjoyed reading this message. I am a believer and try my hardest everyday to “Walk in Love”. I do agree that people judge to fast and to much before even knowing a person or particular situation. Most people, without knowing it, have to learn to love them-selves before they can really love others. Society has gotten extremely worse and may continue that way, but I truely believe that you are responsible for who you associate yourself with, the places/enviroment you put yourself in, actions you take, what you believe, and how you should act. For example: “If you don’t like a particular restaruant that just opened, than don’t pickett outside or get in an argument with someone about it….just don’t go!” Judging is wrong, but we are human. My biggest problem is with people (mostly some elders) that go to church every time the doors are open, but can’t manage to smile or not be grotchy. I don’t understand that. In my opinion, they obviousley aren’t walking in love, they are just walking in the doors. I have struggled to forgive my own grandmother for being that way. But the only one it’s hurting is me for not understanding and not forgiving her for all the hateful/hurtful things she has said. “She’s old” is not an excuss. Seeing a particular movie or not wearing your wedding ring doesn’t change what’s in your heart and what you believe. Keep preaching, and God bless you and your family. Ya’ll are appreciated and loved by me!
By SG on Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
Awesome post Scott! That is a wonderful phrase to live by. In all things love. I’ve been thinking about these things for a while and I love how you said what you said. So simple in theory yet SOOOO complicated to practice. THANK YOU!
By scott on Mar 2, 2006 | Reply
Layce, SG
Thanks so much for the comments.
Layce, too many of us have become hardened by religion rather than buoyed by grace. SG is right, it is so hard to practice. We all fall short.
By Cathy B on Mar 4, 2006 | Reply
“None of this is to say that we take a soft view on sin. However, it does mean that we take a softer view on people. Seek to love first, before we cast judgment…We use that passage to justify falling on either extreme: bludgeoning people with “truth” or coddling them with “love” rather than engaging them with Jesus.”
Well put! I just wandered in from a post of Darren’s and hope you don’t mind a total stranger butting in, but I think this is exactly what I’ve been trying to say for a while.
I also liked Darren’s comment here. It seems like the right answer is usually a balance between two extremes, not one or the other.
By Amy Grant on Mar 7, 2006 | Reply
I’m just now finding this post, but so thankful I did! Love the quote. Unfortunately it is so much easier to judge than to actively show love to others (which takes us out of our comfort zones). Thank you.
By scott on Mar 7, 2006 | Reply
Thank you Cathy and Amy. To live as Jesus lived is the ultimate calling.