When I had a typepad account I never received comment spam.  WordPress isn’t quite as Fort Knox-ian in it’s faux-ham security.

As my readership has grown in the last few months to around 450 hits a day, I’ve seen a growth in pseudo-pork.

A couple of weeks ago I installed Akismet, a bogus beef filter.  It seems they have a top-notch system of catching mythical meat.  The influx of tricky turkey has grown exponentially since then.  So, is my spam filter actually going out and courting this stuff?

Anyway, much of the spam that it is catching is well-versed at crafting comments that look like it might fit into the flow of a conversation.  I’m enjoying reading them and trying to understand what that conversation might be.

Here’s a sampling of actual spam comments I have received lately:

• An exhaustive knowledge of the life and times of Douglas “Tin Legs” Bader, English WWII fighter ace. (This piece of spam makes light of Bader who fought despite having both legs amputated. Spam is no respecter of persons.)
• **Not to be confused with the town of Normal, Illinois. Anyone know anyone from there? (Actually, no I don’t although I do know that McLean Stevenson is from Normal.  And the first Steak ‘n Shake was there.)
• ‘Grandma, when is the world going to end?’  (Since this is a spam for Cephalexin I believe the correct answer is “The world is not going to end, it just feels like it does because it burns when you urinate.”)
• “William Safire has just been picked on by a blog with a name that keeps changing. Not too harshly, though. The comment is William Safire, you annoy me.” (Don’t worry, Mr. Safire.  As you know they are just ‘nattering nabobs of negativity.’)
• I’d feel clever if it wasn’t for the fact that every single person in the country who isn’t in the Tory party took the same view. (You crazy Brits! Sure, I’ll click the link and play party poker with you.)
• He sits at his chair, one of those faggy ball chairs, crosses his legs and turns toward his Macintosh. “Come, lovely. Let me show you how to open an email.” (Now, I’m really interested in what happens next.  I’m disappointed the clicking the link only finds me bargain prices for depakote.)
• i have been writing up a fierce storm to the echoing applause of silent rejections (at least send a note, people). and i have been making leaps and bounds in therapy. (People might be more willing to respond when you finish the Prilosec treatment you’re pushing, honey.)
• Louise of course. Thelma is much too tragic. (I’d chime in here, but I really wish I knew what the question was.  I also can’t remember who played Louise.  Was it Sarandon or Davis? Because that would play a much greater factor in my decision than which character was the most tragic.)
• Another reason to love Senegal is because of the music they produce there. (Noted.)

There you have it.  The vast majority of these are for prescription pills such as Oxycontin and Klonopin.  Could it be that we are all so heavily medicated that eventually spam will actually start working because we will be so sedated that we will lose the ability of discernment?

It’s just a question. To quote one of my commenters, “Right, that’ll do for now. I’m off to see Ritmos da Cidade and Grupo Sambando with the Drumming Club.”

You got any interesting spam lately?