Because Amy requested it, and much to my wife’s chagrin, here are the lyrics to my country song.

Understand, this was 15+ years ago, it was written while sitting in my Greek Philosophy class, and was a weak attempt at satire.  I do not advocate drinking to excess and shooting off body parts. If you are humor challenged you should probably stop reading now.

Sometime today or tomorrow morning when I finish work I will be going on vacation.  Therefore, there will be a series of light-hearted posts over the next 10 days or so.  My mind is fried.

Anyway, here goes:

The Jukebox plays, lonely in the night

I’ve tried so hard to make it right

Baby, I don’t know why you had to go

I think I’ll get drunk and shoot off my toes

  

It’s been so long, the days are still hard

Your pink flamingos still stand in the yard

They stand their guard waiting for you to appear

I think I’ll get drunk and shoot off my ears

  

I can’t describe this pain that I feel

I always thought that our love was real

But now you’re gone, taken your own ship

I think I’ll get drunk and shoot off my lips

  

(Chorus) Oh, I’m down on my luck

I’m lonely and drunk

It breaks my heart

As I shoot off my body parts

To know she’s gone

And I’m alone

  

When we first met it felt like a storybook

I fell in love that very first look

When you left you said you no longer cared

I think I’ll get drunk and shoot off my hair

  

I threw away the bed, it reminds me of you

I sleep on the floor, beside my dog “Boo”

He keeps me warm, but he can’t take your place

I think I’ll get drunk and shoot off my face

  

(Repeat Chorus)

  

It’s cold today, the rain is falling outside

No storm can match the tears I’ve cried

When we were together I felt the best

I think I’ll get drunk and shoot off my chest

  

I stand here alone, my gun is now empty

Because you’re gone there’s not much left of me

“Excuse me, madam, can you give me a ride?

I really think that I’m too drunk to drive.”

 

Copyright 1991 Scott Freeman Music

 

Feedback?  Do I have a hit on my hands?  Any changes? Suggestions for a title?