Scott Freeman

I ran across an article yesterday in my web-browsing that said that ministers who are doing an effective and meaningful work should experience bouts of depression.
Allusions were made to prophets of old who battled with periods of malaise. I am not a prophet in the sense that I can foresee the future. However, preaching is a prophetic work in that it depends on spiritual insight to spread a message.
I reflected on this quite a bit since I stumbled across the article: am I given to depression? Do I regularly experience occasions where I don’t want to get out of the bed?

Honestly? Yes. There are moments in each week where I think I can’t do this anymore. That the cost of ministry is just too high a cost.

–Every Monday I walk into my office with no idea what I am going to preach on Sunday. I wrestle and struggle all week long with what I am going to say and how it is going to come together. A deadline must be met and sometimes it’s hard. I either don’t know what to say or I don’t fully understand the text. Or maybe I understand it but the truth is too bold to speak.

–Every week I come face-to-face with this amazing disconnect between what I proclaim and what I am. The Christian life is such an high calling that at times it can feel oppressive. To preach holiness and godly living and to be, at times, so unholy and ungodly is sobering. I look at the Ted Haggards and how little grace is given to people in my position who fall and I tremble.

–In addition, the more honest I am with the text and the more I strive to understand what the core message is, the farther I depart from previously held notions. I walk a tightrope between what I now believe and what I am ready to say. I use this blog as an outlet for that and often worry if I say too much.

–There are days where I feel completely alone. There are days where I am tired of being the only minister on staff, the only one who is invested in day-to-day church work in a small congregation. I’ve spent 5 years now as the only minister on staff. It can be lonely.

–There are times where I feel that I can never do enough. I see marriages falling apart, children neglected. I see families striving to get ahead. I am surrounded by abject poverty and hopelessness. We are to be a light in our community and a lot of times I feel that light is hidden by an impenetrable fog. There are unlimited people to visit, pray for and help out financially.

–There are the times when I am misunderstood. Just this week I was told that one member has stopped attending because they were offended that I would say that only members of the Church of Christ are saved. I wasn’t told who it was so I can’t correct it by letting them know that I don’t believe that and I have never said that. Being clear is not always easy.

–There are the times when I feel that my sermon doesn’t penetrate past the edge of the pulpit. Where the truth is missed.

–And then there are Saturdays. I don’t like Saturday’s. All day long I feel a growing sense of dread, or weight, settling on me. The implications of all that I am asked to do on Sundays come crashing down on me. I am expected to proclaim the Good News in a jarring and vital way. And I feel so incapable and unworthy of such a burden.

So, yes, I get depressed. More often than I like to admit. Why don’t I go teach somewhere? I could go back to selling cars. Anything but this never-ending cycle that I encounter week after week.

But this I know: God is ever beside me. It is Him that I encounter as I study. He is the one who is beside me when I don’t know what to say drawing me deeper into His truth.
It is His divine mercy that shows me the message is never-ending love and grace.
He is the one who takes a so-so sermon finished on Thursday and always makes it better by Sunday morning.
He is the one who has led me to this. He is the one who walks with me through the valleys and the shadows.
And He is the One I must proclaim. For He has chosen this introverted, depressive, and unfinished man to share the Good News.

Colossians 1:28–29
Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

Every year there is some backlash when it comes to the glaring omissions in the Academy Award nominations. This year Dreamgirls was a virtual shoo-in for a best picture nom, but was beaten out by Letters From Iwo Jima. I can’t say whether or not this was a mistake because I haven’t seen all of the nominees yet.
However, there are many years where I can give an informed opinion about Best Picture mistakes. In two parts I will give the greatest snubs in Best Picture history. In part one I will give the mistakes made during my lifetime. Next week I’ll look at the rest of Oscar history.
Some understanding for this list: There are years where there are movies that I would have like to have seen nominated but I can’t find a movie that I would have knocked off the list. For example, in 1974, neither Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore nor Monty Python and the Holy Grail were nominated. But I cannot make a valid argument that any of the nominees that year should not have been nominated: Chinatown, The Conversation, Lenny, The Towering Inferno, or The Godfather, Part 2. Hence, those movies are not on my list.
In addition, I had to have seen both the movie I propose to be on the list and the movie to be removed.

10. The Wild Bunch (1969) I know I run a major risk of being overly hard on musicals, but I believe that the same general rule applies here as do the rules Oscar puts on comedies: if it is going to be nominated, it has to raise the bar. Hello, Dolly did not raise the bar but effectively put an end to the love affair the Academy had with musicals during the 60s. The Wild Bunch redefined action movies with its use of slow motion and became an ironically touching portrait of growing older.

9. Little Big Man (1970)–If your idea of a great movie-going experience is to choke on saccharine as your emotions are shamelessly manipulated then you will defend the omission of the classic western in favor of the treacly Love Story. But you will be wrong. And love DOES mean you have to say sorry. Sorry for producing this schlock.

8. Blade Runner (1982)–Sure, I love the thought of Dustin Hoffman (Tootsie) in a dress as much as the next guy, but there is no way the dystopian genius of Ridley Scott’s depiction of the near future is outpaced by yet another celebrity trolling for cheap laughs. In light of all the movies that followed that play on this gimmick, there should have been a serious discussion on whether or not Hoffman would be allowed to act again rather than honor it with a best picture nom.

7. Brazil (1985)–Terry Gilliam’s post-apocalyptic satire may well be one of the most beautifully crafted movies of our lifetime. The fact that it can be categorized as science fiction and a comedy shows the deftness of Gilliam’s hand. Instead, the Academy opted for tedium and nominated The Kiss of The Spider Woman. I would say more about this convoluted mess but I struggled making it through.

6. Miller’s Crossing (1990)–The Coen brothers at their all-time best failed to grab a Single nomination. Rather than reward one of the grittiest film noirs of our time, the academy instead opted to reward us with the syrup double feature of Awakenings and Ghost. Any Academy member that opted over those two hour servings of molasses over the complex twist of Miller’s should have their membership revoked. No one makes Miller sit in a corner.

5. The Usual Suspects (1995)–OK, I have a nomination form in front of me. I can vote for one of the defining movies of the 90s that popularized twist endings or a movie about a talking pig. No contest. Give me Babe. Before I get flamed by the Moms of Preschoolers, understand this: Keyser Soze would have roasted Babe for breakfast.

4. Truman Show (1998)–I think the reason this movie failed to be acknowledged was because nobody realized how prescient this movie truly was. In our “reality-tv” culture, Truman is all too indicting. At the time we had no full way of knowing how accurate it was. Therefore, the Academy chose to award Terrance Malick’s return to movie-making with his messy snoozer The Thin Red Line.

3. Almost Famous (2000)–I don’t like to watch movies repeatedly. But if you put Cameron Crowe’s masterful loose autobiography on in front of me, I’ll be glued to the screen. This movie hits on all cylinders. Chocolat does not. This was during the long streak of the Weinstein brothers buying nominations.

2. Memento (2001)–If you have seen this mind-bender then you obviously share my outrage that this movie received no love at award time. If I remind you that it was shut out by the likes of Gosford Park and Moulin Rouge then you will reconsider ever watching movies again.

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)–My favorite movie of the year was overlooked by the underwhelming Ray and the manipulative Finding Neverland. Why?

I began work at my current congregation a little over 2 years ago. When I came the church was in a transitional period having undergone a split about 6 months previous. Three reasons spurred my decision to accept what many would believe to be an unattractive position:

1. It was closer to family and where Tracy received her undergrad.
2. I love a challenge
3. The church owned property in a more upscale, faster growing area with the dream of building on that land sometime in the near future.

Two years later that dream of moving to a new location seems further away than ever. We are a rapidly aging congregation with limited resources and few young couples..
We could not finance a new build no matter how much we wanted to.
And no longer do I think we should.

Our building is an older structure, sitting along I-35 in a very economically depressed, primarily Hispanic area of north Waco. Many of our neighbors either don’t speak English or struggle with communicating competently. The houses that surround our facility are run-down, ramshackle rental homes. Our neighbors clamor for our aid in clothing, food and other assistance.

Why would we want to move? There are too many churches that have fled to the suburbs. Not enough have elected to stay among the least of these. I hope that we will choose to.

Granted, we haven’t been a very good neighbor through the years. I think our long-standing members would agree to that.

But we are seeking to rectify that:

–This past Saturday about 25 of us showed up to go and knock doors in our immediate neighborhood. Our purpose was to invite them to our annual Friend Day this coming Sunday. After our worship time we will provide them with a catered barbecue dinner. (Note: we had 2 families show up yesterday, simply because we asked.)

–Each week we give away a lot of groceries in addition to operating a Clothes Closet for people who need adequate clothing. We are currently inviting all those who seek us out over the next 2 weeks to come to a free Valentine Dinner for them and their spouses/significant-other. The people in our neighborhood would never be able to take their loved one to a romantic dinner. We want to provide them the opportunity to do just that.

–I am currently searching for someone in the area to come and teach us Spanish. What better way to show that we love and care for our neighbors than to illustrate that by being willing to learn their language rather than simply expecting them to learn ours?

I know that if these and other efforts that I hope we undertake bear fruit that I will have to change my approach to things. My preaching will need to become more simplistic. I will need to network more among urban ministers.
But that is what I am willing and excited to do if we will commit to being more missional.

Here is my question for you: what suggestions for events/ministry offerings would you suggest we try? How can we better be a light where we are? How do we share Jesus here?
For this I know: we are in this neighborhood for a reason. To love the people God has surrounded us with. How can we love them better?

I began doing this two years ago today. When I began I had no clue what I was doing and didn’t know anybody else (besides another preacher in my town) who was blogging. But I decided to give it a shot and now here I am.

When I began I figured it would be a way for members of my congregation to get to know me a little bit better. There would be no politics or controversial stuff. Just uplifting devotional type pieces and other things I found interesting. But that got boring.

Instead I determined to be a place where people could discuss sensitive issues in a loving and civil way. We Christians need to learn to agree to disagree, even on issues that are important to us. I hope this is a place where you feel you can do that.

I am amazed, stunned and humbled by how this blog has grown.
In the first year I posted 199 times with 741 comments. My hit totals was just over 30,000
In my second year I posted 278 times with 4,030 comments. I’ve had just over 104,000 hits in the last year. My highest hit total for a single day has been 888. I now average about 450–500 hits per day.

I think two series contributed to the growth:
–How Did I Get Here–A 10 part look at my journey from a lackey for the GOP whose politics determined his faith to where I am today.
–Thoughts on Non-Violence–A 16 part (and growing) study on how I came to a non-violent position based upon my study of Scripture and early church history. Part three in this series still holds my highest comment mark of 190.

Please don’t think that I’m blowing my own horn, here. I’m just simply amazed that people would make my ramblings a part of their day. My congregation has to sit and listen to me each week. You don’t. So the fact that you are here means a lot to me. This blog is my therapy and outlet. And I highly value this community.

One favor in celebration of my blogiversary: tell me about you. I have many people who regularly comment but there are many of you who read who often don’t weigh in. How about some introductions and information about you? Lurkers and commenters alike:

Name:
Location:
Age:
Profession:
Something awesome about you:
Why do you come here?
Do you have a favorite post?
Favorite Saturday cartoon?
Do You Blog? [insert link or URI]

Again, thank you so much for reading. Here’s to another year.

(HT: GKB for these questions)

I might regret this, but I have a question. In the ongoing discussion abortion has been repeatedly brought up as a litmus test for casting a vote for a candidate.

My question is this: party affiliation aside, what are you looking for in a candidate. What issues are closest to your heart? Which ones are deal breakers for you?

Can your vote be reduced to a singular issue?

I cannot get this song out of my head.

I’m never going in a cave again.

Tracy remarked this morning about her interest in seeing where I swing from my current positions. When we met I was still in my rabid, dogmatic Republican days.
I was the former president of my local Young Republicans and still subscribed to all the conservative periodicals (Note: I’ve already discussed my journey to this point in this series. I don’t want to recount it now, but if you interested follow the link.)

Where I am at in my spiritual journey, I fear, looks just like that: a pendulum. And finding more in common on the political landscape with the Democratic party looks like I’ve swung between extremes. But I think that is a mistake and some clarification is in order:

First of all, my source of hope is not in a particular party. I have tremendous problems with the current leadership, but the answer is not in who sits across the aisle. I enjoy politics, but both parties are fallen in that they seek first their own interests. The GOP does not have a monopoly on God, and I can argue that much of what they view as being God-pleasing is nothing more than a distorted view of the Christ of Scripture. Conversely, the Dems have a history of marginalizing those of faith within their party. I see that shifting greatly but, ultimately, it too will fall short.

Secondly, my source of hope is not in the United States. I am blessed to live in this country. I love living here and I benefit greatly from what is America. But it is not the new Israel and my blessings in Christ are not geographical. Being in Christ, as Paul tells us, I have no borders, no nation above the Kingdom. That can be upsetting when we conflate the Kingdom and the nation-state. And I recognize that America is like all other powers of this world: fallen.

Third, I dispute the notion that the place to be is somewhere in the middle. That the desired location is some happy medium between two parties, picking and choosing the positions that best adhere to some muddled belief system.
No, I believe that the place that Jesus calls us to be is on the extremes, among the marginalized. Where the people are lost and forgotten. That true Christian living focuses first and foremost on love. That I view others not on whether they look, act or believe like me. But that I look upon others as children of God, my neighbor.

The answer is not, and can never be, political. Nor is the hope of this world whether or not we balance a budget, rid the world of terrorism or reach across the aisles.
The hope in this world is for the church of the Living God to be salt and light in a darkened, flavorless world.
To love our enemies, even when they want to kill us.
To turn the other cheek, even when it means we will get hurt.
To love unconditionally and sacrificially even when it means we will be taken advantage of.
To think first about others before we think about ourselves even if it means we don’t get ours.
To be like Christ even if it gets us killed.

So the answer is that I hope I don’t swing back to some moderate position. But that instead I will learn to follow Christ to the extremes, to where His children are. For the love of God is never moderate.

I love Oscar, but he is an imperfect beast. Frankly, he often makes the wrong call. This is my list for the 10 biggest mistakes they have made through the years in handing out the statuette for picture:

10. Titanic over L.A. Confidential (1997)–Honestly, I got caught up in the hoopla just like everybody else. The movie that could have sank, instead floated on an Oscar tidal wave. But it was the adaptation of James Ellroy’s novel that stands the test of time. It is deeply reminiscent of the hard-boiled detective stories of yesteryear, full of layers of intrigue and mystery.

9. Dances With Wolves over Goodfellas (1990)–The Academy’s dismissal of Scorcese’s work has been going on for almost three full decades. There is no more glaring oversight than this one. Sure, this was the first of Costner’s overblown ego projects and we didn’t fully realize where that would end up. But come on. If you have both DVD’s in your hands right now, which one are you putting in? I thought so.

8. Lawrence of Arabia over To Kill A Mockingbird (1962)–Don’t get me wrong, Lawrence is a great film but it has none of the epochal virtue of Mockingbird. The adaptation of Harper Lee’s novel signified the beginning of a seismic shift in American culture.

7. Gladiator over Traffic (2000)–Sure, Crowe’s Maximus brings out the inner warrior in each of us. I get that. But Soderburgh weaves a complicated and intricate web of seemingly unrelated stories on the drug war in America that sends the viewer reeling. Seeking dialogue over resolution this is one of the important films of the 21st century. Oscar missed that.

6. Going My Way over Double Indemnity (1944)–Bing Crosby as a priest? No thanks. The definitive film noir? Yes, please.

5. Driving Miss Daisy over every other nominated picture (1989) This year brought us the following nominees: Born on the Fourth of July, Dead Poets Society, Field of Dreams and My Left Foot. There is no defense or excuse for this bone-headed of a pick. It’s the academy’s version of the BCS.

4. All About Eve over Sunset Boulevard (1950)–Both movies explore the theme of aging stars. Bette Davis and, especially, Anne Baxter are phenomenal in Eve. However, it is Gloria Swanson’s frightening, yet moving, portrayal of Norma Desmond that has become a cinematic touchstone.

3. A Beautiful Mind over Lord of the Rings (2001)–How many people did Russell Crowe have to threaten to throw a telephone at to score this upset? Peter Jackson created one of the most amazing visual feasts in cinematic history with a story that many thought was unfilmable. Sure, he was rewarded for the first entry, but he lost here to a joke of a movie.

2. How Green Was My Valley over Citizen Kane (1941)–Sure, Orson Welles had ticked off too many powerful people in the making of this film. And, granted, the Academy made many missteps during the World War 2 years. But this is one of the greatest crimes in its history. I’m not usually given to the build-up of hype over Kane and its overblown melodrama. But it is one of the greatest films ever made. How Green Was My Valley was not.

1. Forrest Gump over The Shawshank Redemption (1994)–Gump, and Hank’s cloying portrayal, make me want to hurl myself under a bus. The fact that this insufferable 2 and a half hour mess of a film beat out one of the true great depictions of redemption ever captured on celluloid is the greatest misstep in the Academy’s history. Treacle, I have met thee, and thy name is Forrest Gump.

Your thoughts or suggestions?

Call me a nerd, but I am an Academy Award buff. I’ve seen every best picture and actor winner. Over the last 10 years or so I’ve seen every best picture nominated film and 90% of the acting nominees.
Tomorrow morning the Academy will announce their nominations for the 79th Academy Awards. Here is the way I’m predicting it will go:

Best Picture–There are three absolute locks in this category. One almost lock. And one movie with a head of steam coming into the announcement.
Babel–Lock
Dreamgirls–Lock
The Departed–Lock
The Queen–Almost a lock
Little Miss Sunshine–Gaining ground fast and at this point is a dark horse to win it all.

Analysis–The Queen seems to have slowed a bit, although it is a fantastic film and I think it still will make it through. People are beginning to acknowledge Sunshine for being one of the best movies of the year and I think it gets through. There are still a few movies that are hanging around that could pull a stunner. They are:
–Children of Men: The problem with this film is that it began to get the rave reviews and the push too late in the game. If the nominations were a month from now, it’s chances would be better.
–United 93: Critics love it, naming it the best picture in 9 different circles. But, divorced from the emotions of those events, it’s not a great film.
–Letters from Iwo Jima: The Academy loves Clint Eastwood. But this time I think he has to settle for just a Director nod.

Best Actor–This is shaping up to be a great year for African American actors. As it shapes up right now, they could pull out three of the four trophies this year. And after the two locks this field gets rather shaky. Here is my best guess:
Forest Whitaker in Last King of Scotland–Lock
Will Smith in Pursuit of Happyness–Lock
Peter O’Toole in Venus–Oft nominated but never a winner. And he won’t win this year. But look for him to haul in #8.
Leonardo DiCaprio–Two stellar performances. The question is which movie garners the nom. I think it will be for Blood Diamond since his role in The Departed is being pushed for supporting. If so, I think Leo will be twice rewarded this year.
Sacha Baron Cohen in Borat–Golden Globe win proves that this performance is being taken seriously. It’s that good.
Note–Look for Ryan Gosling to sneak in here if Leo splits his vote.

Best Actress–For the first time in years this category has more weight than the Actor field.
Helen Mirren in The Queen–Lock. She has won EVERY award for her incredible performance. Time to start dreading the Oscar backlash.
Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada–Lock, but isn’t she always?
Judi Dench in Notes On a Scandal–Lock, but isn’t she always?
Kate Winslet in Little Children–Her fifth! nomination. The next, or current, Meryl Streep.
Penelope Cruz in Volver–I can’t believe I’m writing this.

Supporting Actor–Great performances, with one clear front-runner. And that is:
Eddie Murphy in Dreamgirls–Eddie was a revelation in this film. Tremendous.
Djimon Honsou in Blood Diamond–This is one of my favorite performances of the year. His love for his son will preach.
Alan Arkin in Little Miss Sunshine–A career topping performance.
Jackie Earl Haley in Little Children–Kelly Leak is back.
Brad Pitt in Babel–I’m going for a long shot here. It’s Pitt’s time knocking out contenders like Nicholson and Wahlberg.

Supporting Actress–I’m reaching here because I haven’t seen as many films with legitimate contenders in this field. I’ll start with what I think should happen:
Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls–WOW. This is a lock. And with Whitaker and Murphy this is three African American frontrunners. A first.
Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine–Give her the nod. To upstage Steve Carrell, Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette takes some chops.
Cate Blanchett in Notes On a Scandal
Adriana Barraza or Rinko Kikuchi in Babel–But not both.
Emma Thompson in Stranger Than Fiction–I’m afraid this becomes a rubber stamp here rather than giving it to who truly earned a nom: Emily Blunt in The Devil Wears Prada

Best Director–I am hoping against hope that Eastwood in not nominated here, because it is LONG past time that Scorcese is honored. He is the greatest living director to have not won. He’s way past due.
Martin Scorcese for The Departed
Bill Condon for Dreamgirls
Alejandro González Iñárritu for Babel
Clint Eastwood for Letters From Iwo Jima
Steven Frears for The Queen
Note: We could see the Academy acknowledge United 93 here with a nod for Paul Greengrass

OK, that’s it. I felt more confident in my predictions last year but it will be interesting to see. I am now heading to some other prediction sites to see how I compare to the “experts.”
Any thoughts?

Update

I only got 25 out of 30. The only one I got completely was Best Actress. Kinda disappointing. But I did name all the ones in my potential spoilers so that means no true shocks except Dreamgirls getting shut out of best picture. When I saw that Condon was not nominated for Director I sensed it was coming. But I thought it was a lock. I must make a mental note to myself: never underestimate the Academy’s love for Clint Eastwood.
It’s a wide open field. Should be interesting.