Top 10 Tuesday: Things That Really Get My Goat
March 20th, 2007 | by Scott |I realized earlier that the curmudgeon hasn’t appeared in a while. As hard as I try to suppress him, he lurks underneath. Every once in a while he has to appear.
He presents to you now things that are really getting under his skin. Just bubbling under the list are people who are incapable of seeing nuance and news show banter. I mean, really, just give us the news. I don’t really care to see how well the meteorologist and the sports anchor get on.
Anyway:
10. Close Talkers–Not just any close talkers. I understand that some people might not have the boundary issues that I do. It’s the close talkers who won’t take the hint when I back up. Me taking a step backwards is NOT a cue for you to take a step forward. M’kay?
9. Birthday Parties–OK, maybe my folks were phoning it in. I didn’t have a birthday party every year. And either I wasn’t invited or my friends didn’t have one every year either. But if this rate of expansion continues I will have to quit my job just to be able to take my kids to all the birthday parties that they and their little friends have.
8. Use of the term “the church” exclusively for the Church of Christ. 1952 called. They want their isolationism, arrogance and exclusivism back.
7. Credit Agencies–Two notes for you bottom feeders: 1) Neither Gwendolyn Jackson nor Sheila Nichols live at my house. So they cannot talk to you about whatever sum they owe you. 2) You can keep calling on behalf of ADT. We don’t owe them money. And we ain’t paying.
6. Joakim Noah. I don’t think I’ve rooted AGAINST an athlete this hard since Christian Laettner.
5. Check Writing. Seriously, who still uses these things? They are called Debit Cards. Quicker and easier. And you don’t have to write a check for a .72 cent purchase. And isn’t there something a little sad about writing a check for a lottery ticket?
4. Hewitt Cops–OK, so tickets are your sole source of revenue. I get that. You can’t be hired anywhere else unless you want to work the graveyard shift providing security for the local apartment complex. I understand. But, that doesn’t give you the right to prey on your citizens. And don’t tell me that ONE single street in town needs a 20 MPH speed limit when EVERY OTHER ONE IN THE AREA is 30 MPH. And don’t tell me because it’s near a school. There are 6 streets closer to the school and they are all 30. THE STINKING SCHOOL ZONE is 30 MPH for crying out loud. The only reason that one street is 20 is to prey on fine upstanding citizens who might drive a skoch too fast. Not that I know, mind you. I just hear people talking.
3. Game/Reality Show Suspense–Do you really need to drag out who is getting eliminated or opening the stupid briefcase? Just tell us! Look at the long-standing success of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. They don’t wait until they return from commercial break to see if the double jeopardy question is right or if the vowel is up on the board. You want to know why these shows have such a short shelf life? People get tired of waiting.
2. Spell-Check. Come on. If you know how to log onto a computer, you should be able to know how to proof your work.
1. Spam–It’s killing me. I installed a second filter yesterday and it says it has already blocked 460 attempts. I want to utilize mybloglog on my sidebar but, as you can see, it has already been spammed by cleo and litllolita. Do me a favor: don’t vote for Cleo. And stop spamming me. Please.
15 Responses to “Top 10 Tuesday: Things That Really Get My Goat”
By KS on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Nice that you make funn of mi bad speling.
BTW: Noah gets on my nerves, and I root for Florida. If not for Hortford we’d have already been taken out against Purdue.
By Scott on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
That’s interesting Kenny. I thought you might take exception to putting him on the list.
By Kevin Bussey on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Close talkers scare me.
Also, I was saying the same thing to my wife about birthday parties just this week. Our son is turning 13 this weekend and we have had a huge party for each one. I never had that many in all of my life.
Sorry about the spill chick.
By terri on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Amen to #6… both guys!
By jasonk on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
You in a bad mood today Scott? I’m glad for your church that its not Sunday morning :>)
Your list is perfect. I would surely have put the news banter higher on the list, though. Don Henley was right. Another thing that bugs me about the news is when they brag that their weathermen are going to be staying up all night. Does that happen in Texas? If there is any kind of bad weather possible, the news lady will say, at least two or three times, “well I guess you guys will be up all night huh?” And the weather geeks will respond with a fake sad looking, “yeah, looks that way.” Who freakin cares? We all work hard. Get over it.
By Scott on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
I have a birthday party tonight. Peter Piper Pizza. Woo Hoo!
Terri, glad we are on the same page. His little dance after beating Arkansas still cheeses me off.
Jason, actually I’m in a pretty good mood. And yeah, they do that “up all night” bit here too. And we have one “meteorologist” who makes me want to renounce non-violence.
By Tracy on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Honey, did you sleep OK last night? Was your All Bran cereal box empty this morning? Did they run out of Diet Coke at the gas station? And if you got another ticket, you better be bringing me flowers. And a gift certificate for a facial.
By Donna on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
There is NOTHING wrong with spell check! I LOVE IT!!
The rest of your list I agree with but would add over zealous Weathermen!
Maniacal Cell Phone Companies who get away with making you sign contracts to keep from paying a gazillion dollars for a new cell phone!
By greg on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
#8 is classic.
Did the birthday party thing this past weekend. my son turned 3 yesterday. But my daughter (7) has been to more in the past year than should be allowed.
And I, of course, take great exception to the mention of Christian Laettner. (You’ll love my post next week.)
By len on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Every church has that one close talker. Agreed, why can’t they take the hint!!
Deal Or No Deal should be required to move at least 3 contestants through an hour. The slowness is what killed off Millionaire. Add to my list the contestants who feel compelled to explain why they didn’t choose 3 answers before they finally choose the 4th. Just give me an answer, I don’t care how you know it.
By Colleen on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Scott, I’m with you on the close talkers…I know an individual who does this routinely and no matter how many times I step back, they step forward..very annoying, I’ve given up on the idea of them catching the hint!
By Scott on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Tracy, there wasn’t enough yogurt bites in my All Bran. You know how that makes me.
Donna, thanks for pointing out my own mistake. That should be people who DON’T spell-check. And you should go to http://consumerist.com/ to find out how to get out of cell phone contracts.
By Scott on Mar 20, 2007 | Reply
Greg, I originally had “sorry, Greg” in that line.
Len, you are right. That is exactly what killed Millionaire. That and showing it every night for a month.
Colleen, if you ever do find a way to counter-act it let me know.
By Lane on Mar 21, 2007 | Reply
Close talkers bug me as well, but what really bugs me are the people who don’t leave my office when I’m very obviously working. We have two guys who constantly come by the office (one is a photographer and one is a concrete salesman, and they are never at work). They just plop into one of our offices, and strike up a conversation. That would be fine, but after 5 minutes of me continuing to work on a lesson and never really looking up at them, one would think they could take a hint.
Classic moment: When VCU was about to beat Duke, they showed a shot of Christian sitting in the stands, and I just couldn’t help but wonder, “Where are you playing now?”.
By greg on Mar 21, 2007 | Reply
Laettner is retired after 13 years in the NBA. I believe he is now part owner of the Memphis Grizzlies.