Scott Freeman

Hitting The Campaign Trail…

Wednesday’s are generally meant for political reflections on the ole blog. I didn’t last week so let’s get back into it with a few (completely insignificant) nuggets.

–Does anybody besides me find it interesting that Mitt Romney’s favorite book is Battlefield Earth? Now, I love Scientology as much as the next guy (see, I wrote that. Please don’t sue me. In the name of Xenu, please don’t sue me.) but doesn’t it seem odd that it would be the book of choice of a practicing Latter-Day Saint?

–I like the completely insignificant questions that the AP often asks like the one above. The most recent one was on what they would take to a Desert Island. Here were there responses:

DEMOCRATS:

Delaware Sen. Joe Biden: “Jill, my wife.” (Jill was not available for comment.)

New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: “A good book.” (Apparently, this is her book of choice.)

Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: “Coffee with cream and sugar.” (Dodd doesn’t really think big thoughts, now does he?)

Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: “A book.” (This one)

Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: His wife, Elizabeth. (Kucinich would not elaborate if he was talking about his own personal wife, Elizabeth, or if the *his* that he is referring to is John Edwards.)

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama: “Other than my wife and my kids, an inanimate object I would have to have would probably be a good book.”

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: “Blackberry and a Davidoff cigar.” (Elitist!)

REPUBLICANS:

Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback: “Tarp.” (He’s staying and starting his own dominion, isn’t he?)

Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani: “Books and music.” (A versatile man. He’s not satisfied with just one item. He needs two. Apparently he gets bored easily. Take that as you will.)

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: “Laptop with satellite reception.” (Obviously the laptop with satellite reception was a gift.)

California Rep. Duncan Hunter: “Mrs. Hunter.” (Again, he would not clarify which Mrs. Hunter.)

Arizona Sen. John McCain: “Books.” (McCain thinks outside the box here with multiple books. Actually his first answer was sunblock.)

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: “My wife, Ann.” (And a copy of Battlefield Earth)

Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: “Boat.”

–I propose that we each select our next president based upon who has the coolest people donating to them. The Hill listed celebrity donations in the first quarter and they are interesting to say the least. Now, I’m no mathmetician but it seems someone could construct some algorithm or formula to quantify and rank the cool factor of the celebrity donations.
Now, it’s obvious that the GOP is eliminated right out of the gates unless the fear of being Republican and living is Hollywood is somehow eliminated.
Sure, Sam Brownback has Pat Boone and the Papa John’s guy but that’s not cool. Guiliani can boast Adam Sandler, A-Rod and Kelsey Grammer so he warrants a +3 (or whatever rating system is devised). McCain has Michael Jordan. But it’s in the Democratic field that the celebrities come out of the woodwork.
So, under my proposal, we eliminate those who don’t have enough “cool people” throwing in the cash. Here’s a sample rundown from The Hill of Democratic donations:

Clinton
Candice Bergen
Christie Brinkley
Chevy Chase
Hugh Hefner
Christine Lahti
Barry Manilow
Marla Maples
Rosie O’Donnell
Jerry Springer
Barbra Streisand
Analysis–Those last three names will likely rob her of all the cool points she gets for the Manilow contribution. Cause let’s face it, Barry rocks.

Obama
Jennifer Aniston
Jackson Browne
Morgan Freeman
Tom Hanks
Dennis Haysbert
Tobey Maguire
Barry Manilow
Branford Marsalis
Eddie Murphy
Ed Norton
Ben Stiller
Gene Wilder
Analysis: Pure coolness here. Jackson Browne? I have all his albums. Ed Norton? One of the best actors of my generation. Eddie Murphy? Robbed for the Oscar. Jennifer Aniston is hot. Tom Hanks is one of the most loved actors in history. Dennis Haysbert has already been president. Ben Stiller. See, Obama is already at like +45.

Dodd
Edie Brickell
Michael Douglas
Steve Martin
Lorne Michaels
Paul Newman
Elisabeth Shue
Paul Simon
Joanne Woodward
Analysis: This group of donors was really cool about 20+ years ago. Too bad he’s not running against Bush I.

Edwards
Larry David
Seth Green
Don Henley
Barry Manilow
Analysis: Edwards comes up way short here. I hate to say that but Henley hasn’t recorded anything great since 1989. And I think Barry Manilow just sent me 1000 bucks to run.

OK, who is going to develop the formula to determine donor coolness?