4 Year Olds and Theodicy
November 7th, 2007 | by Scott |Shortly after we moved to Oklahoma I was driving our center child Cassie home from the library. We had one of those conversations that have a tendency to leave us parents speechless.
Cassie: “Daddy, when you get old how are you going to die?”
Me: “I don’t know, honey. Mommy says it will probably be a heart attack but I don’t really know.”
Cassie: “You don’t know how you are going to die? Why doesn’t God tell you?”
Me: “I don’t know that either. There are a lot of things that God doesn’t tell us.”
Cassie: “I know why God doesn’t tell us things. It’s because He is in the sky.”
I can’t really argue with that theological reasoning. There is so much about God and the question why that escapes me. The more we ask why the more uncomfortable it can be.
But this I do know: my little girl doubts God. She questions Him regularly. She blames Him often for her arthritis and for making her the way she is.
At the age of 4 Cassie has a love/hate relationship with the Creator. I could soften my language here and try to explain it away but it wouldn’t be honest. My daughter is prone to doubt.
I don’t know if this is some sort of theological wrangling that she will grow out of. Her older sister has always just accepted the stories told in Bible class. Sure, she asks hard questions as any 6 year old will but it is based in acceptance.
Not Cassie. If we are going to paint God as a loving and caring God then we must explain to her why life doesn’t always seem to confirm that.
Several years ago that would have bothered me. It would have struck fear in me and kept me on pins and needles worrying about her soul.
But it doesn’t. As a matter of fact I’m glad that she asks hard questions. I like the fact that she doesn’t just swallow the pabulum that is often presented today.
I believe that doubt can be a good thing. I believe that it can propel us past the pat answers to a deeper understanding.
I also believe that if we are to maintain that our faith stands upon a firm foundation then we must allow that foundation to be tested. I encounter far too many people who take their doctrinal positions, traditional teachings and beliefs and try to keep them sheltered from the light of scrutiny and inquiry. I believe many of them realize on some level that much of their beliefs fail would fail to withstand and shifting under their foundation.
As a result their faith is somewhat shallow and they live their life defensive to any questioning. That is why we see so many believers living in fear about the next Da Vinci Code or Golden Compass. They are afraid to be challenged. That is why they are worried about those of other beliefs or backgrounds. It’s because they are scared to be stretched. If everything is settled then there doesn’t have to be the pains that accompany true spiritual growth.
I question. A lot. I, too, am prone to doubt. And so I read and wrestle and study. I don’t accept the party line. I view doctrine in a utilitarian manner rather than through an absolutist lens. There is just too much that doesn’t make sense to not wrestle with.
And so often what I find is a beautiful thing. I learn that there is something greater lying beyond my previously held assumptions if I’m willing to get uncomfortable. I’ve learned that Truth transcends the absolute/relative argument to something that is more poetic and Divine. I’ve learned that allegory, myth and narrative is deeper and more meaningful than just a cute story.
And so I welcome Cassie’s questioning. I look forward to walking the path of faith with her, through the twists and turns, the switchbacks and the stumbles.
And the great thing of it all? I know that the God I believe in will be there along the way championing her and cheering her no matter what she asks.
16 Responses to “4 Year Olds and Theodicy”
By Jim MacKenzie on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” is one of the most powerful verses in all of scripture (Mark 9:24, NLT).
And if you read the context in and around that verse, was that father scolded for having an unbelieving part of himself?
Hmmmm….
By Mike the Eyeguy on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
I love this post, Scott. A spot on analysis. Most are “fat, dumb and happy” and don’t want to bother too much with anything that would upset that.
Not that they necessarily have to be bothered with such things, mind you. The majority of such summery Christians still probably end up doing more good than harm. But depth and growth? Probably not so much.
I can relate to your Cassie. My serious questioning came later in my teens, but there were hints early on. All three of my sons are skeptics who nevertheless believe (cut from the same cloth as both their mother and father).
I’m at peace with that–they must find their own faith. I have been privileged to have raised them and baptized them, and no matter where they wander, The Hound of Heaven will do a much better job of pursuing them than I ever could.
And thanks for making me look up the definition of “pabulum.” That doesn’t happen very often, mind you.
By Jason on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Great post, Scott. What’s with the comment leader board to the right? Looks like I have some work to do in order to catch Greg.
By Scott on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Jim, right on. Give me questioning over spoon-feeding any day.
Mike, I think you are right. They usually do much more good than harm. I’m just afraid they miss out on so much of the beauty that comes through the struggle. And is there any greater summation of the relentless love of God than the Hound of Heaven. I firmly believe He will stop at nothing, even death, to claim His.
And pabulum is a classic word.
Jason, that’s a new plug-in I’m playing with. I can have it reset monthly or weekly but thought I would check out the “all-time” leader board. Get cracking.
By Justin on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Note. My total is actually four comments higher. Apparently I commented under a different name 4 times.
I can’t imagine how I’m in second though. Especially since I’ve WAY slowed down the amount of comments I leave here. I guess summer 06 really put me on the map. Things have changed since then, most definitely.
By Scott on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Things have changed. You met Ron Paul and fell in love and now your affections for this blog have waned :O
By Justin on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
More like I read Mere Discipleship and so half the things about which we previously disagreed, we now agree.
That, and you stopped posting about the breck girl. ;D
By Matt on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
I’ll agree with everyone else, great post Scott. I had a somewhat similar experience with my 5 year old some time ago that I also blogged about. Her question was, “Who is Satan?”
http://mattwisdom.wordpress.com/2007/09/17/talking-theology-with-a-five-year-old/
By Shane on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
I like Ron Paul, but I like Cassie more. Great post, Scott. None of us naturally dig for the good stuff without some dissatisfaction with the simple stuff. It’s just too bad that our complacency with the simple stuff can create the illusion to unbelievers that that is all there is. I hope you’re right that “they” do more good than harm, but I have my doubts. I am sure there is some of the pot calling the kettle black here, however. I know Cassie will learn more about the true God from a father who lets her ask tough questions than she ever would learn from a parent that panics when her kid shows signs of thinking outside the box. God has blessed you with her (I know you know that), but God has bless her with you too.
By greg on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
I’m winning. Cool.
By Scott on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Justin, just as long as we are in agreement that we still disagree on the things we don’t agree on.
Matt, thanks. I haven’t encountered that question yet. I imagine my answer won’t be that dissimilar to yours.
Shane, I guess it depends on who “they” are and how we define harm I guess. I believe that there are probably many well-intentioned folks who just accept things the way they have always understood it and just choose to be good people.
But, ultimately, you are probably right. I think our traditional depiction of a vengeful god have produced great harm. I encounter too many Christians who get so fired up about this movie or that perceived slight on their “rights” that they become more about preserving a way of life than sharing good news.
And therein lies a great discussion.
By Scott on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Greg, just don’t get too comfy.
By GKB on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Teach me to make all my comments on IM. I’m going inflate my comments count here, so I can win the prize…whatever that might be….
By GKB on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
You’re in my sights, Krister…
By greg on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
wow, i’d almost forgotten about ol’ Garth. What’s he up to these days?
By Scott on Nov 7, 2007 | Reply
Those were good days, huh? I have no idea what he’s up to now. He was a supernova in our midst, burning bright for such a short time.
Garth, if you are out there give us a shout.