Top 10 Tuesday: Things I Learned From Being a Father
February 12th, 2008 | by Scott |I was tagged by Phil for the latest meme to circle the blog block.
There are some very sweet and meaningful posts out there and let me preface my entry to say that I had one of those all planned and ready to go. Instead, I opted for this list.
10. I’ve learned that I can pick up a baby, whiff it’s butt to see if she is poopy, and think nothing of it.
9. I’ve learned that my kids have no future because I failed to get them into the best pre-school.
8. I’ve learned that I find the people who always say things like “just wait until they are teenagers” or “enjoy them while they are that age” incredibly annoying.
7. I’ve learned that if there is a toy on the floor I’m going to step on it. And it’s going to hurt.
6. I’ve learned that Cracker Barrel brings out pure evil in children.
5. I’ve learned that “Terrible Two’s” are a lie designed to force parents into a false sense of security before their children turn 3. That’s when all hell breaks loose.
4. I’ve learned, as the father of 3 girls, to eye all boys, regardless of their parentage, with an eye of suspicion bordering on outright hostility.
3. I’ve learned that there is a seedy underbelly in our society that is festering with Boobah’s, Wiggles, Doodlebops and other sound arguments for the death penalty.
2. I’ve learned that the sound of silence can send me into sheer panic.
1. I’ve learned that the next 16 years of my life are booked on every Friday and Saturday because every kid in this coddled, over-indulged society has to have a birthday party. Every year. And they have to invite everybody. Every year.
Thoughts?
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15 Responses to “Top 10 Tuesday: Things I Learned From Being a Father”
By John on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
I’m right with you on #5 and 4. I’m just going through the whole fun 3yo phase, it’s a 2yo with more vocabulary and mobility.
As for boys I catch my breath every time she mentions one of the boys at preschool and how he’s her friend. I just feel like I have to have a talk with all the boys in the class.
By Amy on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
Love your list, and could have written it myself. I opted for the sappy which made me cry. I like yours better - it’s more fun to laugh!
By Scott on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
John, I hear you.
Amy, Tracy was a little disappointed I didn’t do the sappy list. I’ll make up for it on their birthday’s coming up.
After the week we have had it is better to just laugh.
By Jim MacKenzie on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
Just wait until… sorry… couldn’t… help it…
Seriously, take this list and your others like it on the road. This is the stuff stand-up is made of…
By terri on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
I’ve learned that I enjoy reading about the experiences of parents but that I’m not envious in the least. Thank you for what you’re doing for the future of our world.
By Robin on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
I think you’ve got it all down pat. Sorry, but you will miss this time, but each age has something new and exciting to experience. And when your job is finished and they are out of the house, you will be able to look back and say job well done, I’ve got some really great kids.
By Scott on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
Jim, if only I was truly as funny as I think I am then I would do it.
Terri, there are times where it can be overwhelming.
Robin, I know that I am going to miss this time. I know that there is much to look forward to. That is why I don’t really need anybody to tell me.
By Robin on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
Gee - sorry.
By Scott on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
No need to be sorry. Just telling you why I put that one on the list.
By Belinda on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
Just know: teenage girls are their own personal joy.
By Scott on Feb 12, 2008 | Reply
I’m sure they are.
By matt elliott on Feb 13, 2008 | Reply
Man, that birthday party thing is just funny. And true, sadly enough…
By Scott on Feb 13, 2008 | Reply
We missed two during the flu last weekend.
By Scott on Feb 13, 2008 | Reply
And of course all three of our kids have birthdays within a month of each other.
Do we have one combined party? No, of course not.
This year we are thinking of rebelling and doing a trip instead.
By SG on Feb 13, 2008 | Reply
As they get older the birthday parties do decrease a little bit and a birthday sleep over of just two or three friends is acceptable.
And I agree with you in that being told about future stages of your child’s life is of no comfort, consolation or motivation for the stage you are in now. But it makes the person telling you feel better and someday you will find yourself doing the same thing… ooopppss I just did it!